Sunday, December 6, 2009

Sunday Selections for December 6, 2009

catonspeed recommends Crashing Head On by HopelessRomantic79

M rated: Tempers flare and personalities clash as Bella cares for an injured Emmett, but does that hate translate into love? AU/AH.

I love me some poor injured disgruntled Emmett - he of the TT's. Oh and nothing says UST like a long running feud between childhood acquaintances. If you haven't managed to kill each other, fucking is the only other outcome in the land of fic - we all know this...

All joking aside. This. This is a good Emmett fic *gasp!* I know right? They are few and far between (I stumbled upon this looking for something to rec and devoured chapters like Kitty Cullen devours doves - I have the tweet saved, my dear. Reviews are coming, HopelessRomantic79, I promise it won't be read and run).

Emmett is bedridden after an accident and Bella gets guilted into looking after him. The magic is already there, though, and you're just waiting for the moment the two of them find the common ground and crack:

Chapter two

Bella: He groaned again, and blinked his eyes open. Blurry and unfocused, they were still that deep blue that made my heart skitter a bit in my chest.

Once again, Bella, what the fuck? I thought to myself.

Emmett: Now… damn, she’d grown up. Still pale white and small, with that rich brown hair, but she was confident now. Sexy. Curvy. Incredibly fuckable.

Yeah I'm feeling both of you there! Can't stand each other can you? He he!

First, we have to deal with some twists and turns, but there's light at the end of the tunnel, and although I haven't gotten to the end yet, the HEA is promised, and I look forward to it, even though I'll be sad to see this fic end.

Go read, and leave the man of the month some love <3

JaspersDestiny recommends The Tie that Binds by fiberkitty

When the Cullens lost Alice and Rose in the battle with the Volturi, Bella becomes the glue holding the family together. Alice makes the greatest sacrifice of her existence is playing a game to ensure Jasper lives on. ExB, BxEm, BxJ, ExJ, BxJxE. AU,Mature Rated M

Quote from fiberkitty's FFn profile page:

So, I'm back. That wasn't fun. Let's not do it again. (That meaning that whole someone was upset with the content in a story and reported it instead of just closing the page and reading something else.)

WTF?! I cannot believe the bullshit that fiberkitty had to go through with this story! At all. I would like to build a huge pyre and burn the book burners who help to "burn" down any story. If you're one of the story burners, then let me tell you this: Shame.On.You.Nazis.

Now, poor fiberkitty has to repost her ENTIRE story to FFn, chapter-by-chapter. I can't tell you how many reviews she had for this story because when the Nazis and FFn pulled the story down, her reviews went out the fucking window. So, she's sitting at 12 chapters and 229 reviews. This story is so good, fiberkitty doesn't need the likes of me to review this baby here for Sunday Selections. The woman is a piece of work for even deciding to repost to FFn. Me? I'd be kicking ass and taking names. I'm an unforgiving bitch. I'd say just use your blog alone, hon, to post your stories - like Kaylene is currently trying to do - and just use your FFn profile page as a publicity page, and have blogs like ours and fans of yours post your blog info on their FFn profile pages. Screw the people who have decided to sew up their vaginas for fear that they may experience ANY kind of lemon, any kind of joy, any kind of alternate pairing; and, for those of you assholes who can't watch your own children and the fucking content they view online...well, that's your fucking problem now, isn't it? Your preteens are sneaking glances at lemony FFn stories like the rest of us used to when we were preteens and teens - the only difference being that we would read Harlequin Romances on the book carousel while our parents were grocery shopping. Yeah. Do you prudes remember this? Yeah. It's easy to forget what it's like being young, isn't it? Too bad.

So, now that my rant has fizzled a little, let's talk about this story and why I chose it for its portrayal of Emmett. I mean, honestly? This story could be chosen for its portrayal of Jasper or Edward, too, because their portrayals are wonderful, as well. So, the summary describes the tragedy; but, it is with Alice's help after death, and insight from a member of the Volturi, that Bella literally saves Emmett and Jasper from their grief. Edward is obviously apprehensive (who would want to share their spouse with others?). This story is just beautiful in its build-up of the relationships involved. Emmett and Jasper are so destroyed by Rose's and Alice's deaths. They are lonely, grief-stricken, and can hardly stand to see Bella and Edward's love. But, a plan has already been in the works, and Jasper and Emmett won't be alone for long. In Bella, they find love again, and peace, and comfort. And, the lemons? Holy Hannah! The LEMONS! When I think back to Bella and Emmett's time in the wildernesss, camping, hunting, and a blood-smeared sexual rendez-vous...Mmmm...sooo Emmett! He is so much fun in this story. But, that's the thing with Emmett, isn't it? He's so much fun, and playful, and sexual, and loyal. But, he also won't be with Bella forever. She will help him find his path to his true mate. And, the tie that binds them together will break, and so will their hearts. But, it will all lead to happiness for everyone involved. Sometimes love is like that - you sometimes have to let the ones you love go.

So, go read this story if you haven't already done so, and leave fiberkitty some uber-love in the form of reviews. She deserves it. The story deserves it. The haters? They don't deserve a Goddamn thing.

(IdE:  Yeah, what she said.)

Maelyn recommends Emmett's Undoing by OperaGurl04

Twilight revisited. In my universe, Bella falls for Emmett instead of Edward. Couples are Jasper/Alice, Carlisle/Esme, and Emmett/Bella. This story will be more fun and humor than angst.

This fic only has 10 chapters so far, but they are worth the read if you are looking for something fairly fluffy. I'm not sure if it will stay that way or not, but if it's similar to Twilight as the summary suggests, then I expect a lil action later on.

Emmett is in some ways typical in that he is loud, brawny, ballsy and funny - oh and let's not forget horny. But he's also cute and smart and loving with Bella.

Bella is his perfect match, as Edward tells the family. Her thoughts being as naughty as Emmett's are. She's also a bit more mature and confident in this fic, which is a relief from the canon Bella.

The other pairings are typical so far as Carlisle/Esme and Jasper/Alice (puke) go, but at the beginning of the fic, Edward and Rosalie are single. However, the author seems to have a few things up her sleeve that might surprise you about those two, but I don't want to spoil it, so read and find out.

Emmett and Bella play off each other really well and it's nice to see they aren't moronically running in the opposite direction like the original E/B Twilight.

I look forward to more fluffy fun from this author and give her kudos for a fic well done so far.

(missmaj and IdreamofEddy suffered from epic fucking failure this week. It's bound to inflict some of us from time to time.  And also, this post is being posted without prior approval from the beta, as she is currently drunk and passed out.  Here is an example of Tina with a BAC of...oh...I'd say maybe a 1.2...

non probleme...fuck les quebecoises!  et fuck les personnes qui faites Kaylene de travailller!  Les Fuckers!

How we love her. 


-->Um...yeah...amazingly I survived the festivities last night (one slice of pizza for all of yesterday and then lots of alcohol afterward = the review above and strange emails to the Lambs in a language that I don't even think is's French-ese. Do not use me as any example of the French language, Kaylene. I think I'm intimating above, if my translation of 'DRUNK' is any good: "No problem...fuck the Quebecoises (I apologize to the Quebecoises...I have NO idea where THAT came from)! Fuck the people who make Kaylene work! The Fuckers!" <-- yeah...I have no words for the fuckery I unleashed on everyone last night. Thank God this segment was posted before I decided to 'amend' my review on the forum, ladies, because in my drunkeness I decided to talk about festering tampons, too, after my party ended...I'm mad at the fiberkitty situation, but no one needs to listen to me talk about festering tampons, do they? Um, I have also beta'd this post, my I don't have a hangover is BEYOND me!


  1. OMG Her emails were just stellar, seriously. I was KIKing all over the place!

  2. Was her review written while sober? LOL!
    She's quite a hoot tonight!

  3. The people I work with must have thought I was crazy, I was laughing my ass off. Tina, Thank You, I needed a refresher in French.

  4. Thanks so much for the review, you guys!!!!! :-D I'm so glad you liked my little story. *mwah* Love you guys!!!