Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Wednesday One Shots for 12/2/09

catonspeed recommends The Ranch Hand by fiberkitty

M rated: When Bella hires vet tech Emmett to help out on the ranch she co-owns with Jasper, Emmett spends more time checking out the cowboy than the livestock. Winning entry in the Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy Contest. Emmett/Jasper slash. AH tequila citrus.

All the ladies are talking about it these days - there's a flurry of contests and one shots going on out there right now, and this one comes from fiberkitty, who as I told her on twitter the other day, can collar me any time she likes. Thank god she decided to repost this after the great scandal of '09 (you assholes! shame on you)

Anyway, it's good. I can see why it won because, in the words of The Late Show ladies, 'fuuuuuuuck' this is some hot shit. But, it's got a back story that keeps you intrigued and drawn into the story, and we don't get our lemon until the end (although there might be a little personal toucha toucha touching from the man of the month) - fiberkitty weaves a story of mistimed opportunities and misunderstandings.

Our two boys have been in lust, and love, for some time, but it takes one trip to the city and a trip to the pasture for them to ummmm... finally 'cum together'

As one reviewer writes, 'The tension between both men was tangible - This story was a worthy contest winner.' She's right on both accounts. Heck, I'd read it purely for the use of the line “Save a horse, ride a cowboy”.

Go read it, and then molest it with inappropriate handsy love... fiberkitty will like it, I promise.

IdreamofEddy recommends Southern Comfort by courthale

Emmett and Bella have been friends all their lives. Growing up in a small Mississippi town they have been inseparable. What if feelings grew, as did they? What if you wanted your best friend as your lover? Would they want you too? One shot with lemon!

I love this oneshot. I found it while I was searching for Emmett fics to read this month, and I just love it when I find fics that leave me all warm and fuzzy inside. Not just from the lemon, but just because it's sweetness, and I love the sweet stuff.

SC is an all human Emmett/Bella tale. The two are best freinds who have grown up together, and along the way they both discover they each are in love with the other. This one shot tells the story of what happens when they finally admit it. There's not a whole lot of drama here, but the story is endearing and the lemon was well done. Go give courthale some love.

JaspersDestiny recommends Vampiric Peaches by Llama Mama23
Emmett decides to attempt to turn peaches into vampires. WARNING: Extremely pointless and stupid!

This one shot slays me! It has to be one of the funniest one shots I have ever read...Yes, it is completely pointless and stupid; but, why do I get the feeling that I wouldn't be surprised by Emmett doing this?

I haven't read a lot of one shots in my time, but I have to assume that a one shot with 581 reviews is pretty good, yes? Seriously, if you need a moment of hilarity just to ease whatever form of 'bad' has entered your mind, this one shot is a cure-all.

I don't really think I need to go into the details behind this story. The summary says it all. But,! I would love to play with him some time...he's just too much fun!

Maelyn recommends Almost Lost by FrogQueenLaurel

Emmett spends a night trying to forget a fight the best way he knows how. O/S for the UNFmett Contest. Rated 'M' Very VERY 'M! Bella/Emmett

Whew! Talk about HOT!/*fans self. This one shot is definitely that. She actual has three Bella/Emmett one shots and it was hard to pick just one, but this one was so hot I couldn't pass it up. You know I like my smut!

It starts off in the present, with Emmett getting home from work. Seeing his family in bed, he reflects on the best and worst night of his life, when he almost lost it all.

Cue the flashback to that night. Emmett was a bad boy. After a regretful argument, he just wants to drown in his sorrows and figure out what to do next. He finally ends up drowning them in the beautiful woman who comes to sit at the bar.

The cab ride to his house is amazingly hot. I can just imagine being her, with his hand up my skirt and his voice in my ear. Then there is when they get, barely, in the door to his house and can't make it any further. Then there is the couch, and the kitchen floor. Eventually they make it to the bed and there's even more! Did I mention the lemons in this story? It's fuckhot.

Finally, with his body and heart sated, we return to present day and, yes, ANOTHER LEMON. Even with all this sexing going on, the story is still there. Reflections of times gone wrong that lead us to the best moments of our lives, and turning points that put our lives on track.

missmaj recommends Emmett's Epiphany by MidnightWalking

A oneshot of Emmett after he learns Bella is dead, and what happens when he finds out Rosalie called Edward. Rated T.

This is Emmett's POV after they received the news about Bella's cliffdiving incident. When he learns of his supposed sister's death, Emmett runs into the woods to shed his own grief over the loss of Bella. While grieving, he also tries to understand the reason as to why Bella chose to take her own life, and what would Edward's demise be once he discovers Bella's fate.

What I really like about this story was how he stands up for himself against Rose after that fateful phone call with Edward. Rose is adamant about the fact that once Bella's gone, things for their family will go back to normal. Emmett is infuriated with Rose's stubborn reasoning and fights back so she can come to her senses.

We always see Emmett as the big, sometimes dumb teddy bear who's always willing to give in to his wife's wishes. But in this o/s he finally shows Rose who wears the pants in the relationship.


  1. Thanks so much... and yes, inappropriate handsy love is always appreciated. ;)