Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Wednesday One Shots for 12/9/09

catonspeed recommends The 100 Year old Virgin aka Emmett's Advice by BellaFlan

Cut to the bachelor Party scene from Breaking Dawn. Emmett decides it's time to give Edward "The Talk". One shot...just a bit of fun. Rated M for graphic language. Canon pairings.

Oh! If only SM could have penned this into the fuckery that was that final book. I may or may not currently be using it to prop open a window. It's been rained on. A LOT.

pieceofshitfadetoblackohhere'sababyfuckerybook Gah!

Anyway. This o/s is chock fulla priceless naughty fluff from dirty cannon Emmett! I heart it! How can you not, when the first line contains the following phrase:

Seriously dude? Chill the fuck out, you have an eternity to play the role of Mr. Sensitive Feathery Stroker aka Bella's Bitch

It covers the bachelor party scene from BreakingmyheartDawn, with our man of the month giving Edward some much needed wedding night advice - Emmett-style.

I was giggling my ass off barely a few lines in! Admittedly, that could be the codeine for my bastard teeth, or the gin and juice, but that's purely semantics! It warmed my tiny cold heart with it's clever fuckery! You'll have to read it and let me know if my brain was fried...

IdreamofEddy recommends Emmett Defends Rose by TheEdwardEmmett

This is an engaging story of bravery, heroism, and chivalry where Emmett protects his darling Rose from a brutal attack and unleashes his own. Rated M. Em/R

The author pretty much summed up this one-shot in just that summary. I have never read something so visually stimulating in my entire LIFE, and it's in an Emmett/Rosalie one-shot! The attention to detail is just extraordinary, and this story is just an emotional roller coaster. I warn you, this one shot is very graphic, so don't go into it with a weak stomach. You have won my heart, TheEdwardEmmett. Enough said.

JaspersDestiny recommends Christmas Wish by Corvis Greenleaf

Written for the Very Cullen Christmas Collaboration Challenge. Co-written with Perpetual Lurker. What do you get a vampire that you don't know all that well? AU/OOC BxE, mwahaha.

Okay, searching for Emmett fics, and I come across this gem. I think to myself, "In the spirit of the holidays, why not?" I loved this one shot! I want this one shot to continue! It is adorable!<--shit, how many exclamation marks can one girl use?

Bella kidnaps Emmett to get him to help her pick out a Christmas gift for him...and something unexpected happens. Emmett is his typical, playful self, but he's manly, too. The mwah! is sweet, and the ending beautiful, but seriously, I want a multi-chapter here. This could go places! Rated T, too...I know *GASP* Loved it. Go read it!

Oh, and Emmett? I wish, too.

Maelyn recommends SINdependence Day by SereneCaffeine

The 4th of July brings fireworks and various other explosions. One-shot written for the Friday Free for All.  Rated M. Em/B

Well, as some of you know, I love a good D/s story. While this isn't fully in the D/s scene, it is pretty close.

Bella and Emmett are friends? I'm not quite sure what they are exactly, perhaps friends with benefits, or dating, whichever. So, after the drunken fuckery of an Independence Day party at Emmett's house, he shows her his new playroom, and my oh my, don't I wanna play in there!

It's filled with all kinds of fun toys that I want to see and try out! And, of course, there is a nice sized lemon where they proceed to do just that very thing!

The characters are cute and I liked them to an extent. However, I think I could have gotten into them more if the author had defined their relationship a little better. I still really enjoyed it. Bella is fairly confident, which is always refreshing, and Emmett is playful in more ways than one!

missmaj recommends Philosophy by Lomesir

The things Emmett sees. The things Emmett hears. Set during New Moon. :Winner of Pelirroja's Fan Fiction Contest:

All you pervs out there, ignore the fact that this is a K-rated fic. The one-shot was set after the Cullens left for Forks. Emmett was observing the family's emotions and behaviours, and how leaving Bella affected them. None of them really admitted that leaving her would affect them that hard. Except for Rose, of course. Now, before you get all batty with Rose, remember that this was the Rose that we read from the book.

It's a short story, but it's wonderfully written, a very smart read. Truly derserving of the award she received for the contest.


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