We have a teensy bit of a change in schedule for everyone. We will now be interchanging our Saturday segments; Silly Saturdays one week, Where in the World is... the next. We gave you Where in the World is...NusiainForks last weekend. This weekend, however, we bring you Silly Saturdays.
Our first part is, fittingly enough, Volturi-related - one of several lasting bits of fuckery provided by our much-loved Lucy. God bless her cotton socks, she couldn't leave us quietly *snickers*
Anyone that can pull off ruffles with THAT face should get a prize...
Our second part is brought to you by Tina - a maple syrup maple leaf tree huggin Canadian (per @Meddz via Twitter).
This first bit of fuckery is of Jane and Alec figure skating...cuz *cough* I like figure skating:
Personalize funny videos and birthday eCards at JibJab!
This second bit came to me via email...and I just HAD to post this in honour of the Olympics. Why? Cuz it's just RICH... Where's Ron Mercer when we need him?
Now that Vancouver is hosting the 2010 Winter Olympics, these are some questions people from all over the world are asking.
Believe it or not these questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website.
Obviously the answers are a joke; but the questions were really asked!
Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? (England)
A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.
Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.
Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto - can I follow the Railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only four thousand miles, take lots of water.
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.
Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton, and Halifax? (England)
A: No, but you'd better bring a few extra furs for trading purposes.
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country to your north...oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary - Come naked!
Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (England)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh, forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys' Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
A: No, WE don't stink.
Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Where can I sell it in Canada? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)
A: Only at Thanksgiving.
Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is illegal.
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)
ReplyDeleteA: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
Hahahhahaaaaaaa!
hmmm their skate was good but they lost points for not smiling. lool
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteBahahaha... are these legit questions?
ReplyDeleteTBH, I wasn't even aware that Canada existed until my mom came here 20 years ago.
I was like, "What's a Canada?"
I blame my Philippine history teacher for solely focusing on US, Spain and China.
Oi, we were royally screwed in rural Quebec not knowing much French. Celion Dion had to take extra English lessons in order to make it in Canada.
ReplyDeleteNobody ever talks about the fact that Pam Anderson is a Canadian.
How about Nickelback?
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for the laugh! I loved the Q&A session.
ReplyDelete