A crackchat, fan-girly, fucktastic 100 Monkeys Experience in Toronto, aka Jackson Rathbone is turning into a diva bitch!

On Sunday, March 14, 2010 Maj and I ventured from both ends of Toronto (Etobicoke and Scarborough) to converge downtown at Tattoo Rock Parlour at 567 Queen Street West.
Our purpose? To see the 100 Monkeys perform for the first time ever in Toronto.

Do we know anything about the 100 Monkeys? Maybe Maj does a bit... Me? Not a stitch, really. But we are Jasper lovers, so we cannot lie -- we were here to see our main man, Jasper Hale... I mean Jasper Whitlock... I mean Jackson Rathbone!

Personally, it was just plain cool to meet a fellow Lamb for the first time. Hands down. Now I just have four more to go...

Our evening was filled with McDonald's, Long Island Iced Teas (Maj and her Asian alcohol gene is pretty funny on Twitter), really young girls (like...young. Like...shit, I'm old 'young'), actually meeting the Monkeys, diva-like behaviour, cigarettes, and, surprisingly, a new crush!

And because we actually got to meet the Monkeys, Maj was able to cross off an item from her bucket list (I can't believe she has one -- oh, and Maj? Why the hell do you even have #11??? THAT's on you bucket list?)

Rather than describing in boring detail our entire evening, I have decided to post my actual gchat with Kaylene. It's kind of like a crackchat, and Maj has added her own bit of fuckery to the chat after the fact (because we both had slightly different experiences that evening). I've reformatted the crackchat a bit, or else y'all may get too confused... We're also including a slideshow of pics and a few videos from the concert (with commentary as we go along).

Enjoy the ride!

---------- Forwarded message ----------

Date: Mon, Mar 15, 2010 at 12:51 AM
Subject: Tina's Chat with Kaylene

-------------------------------------

Tina: Hi!

Kaylene: OH god fill me in...I'm at work, but tell me!

Tina: Okay first!

Maj: NO, THIS FIRST!!! Okay, we got in, went straight to the washroom. BTW, WE GOT CARDED. YES, I AM VERY HAPPY ABOUT THAT ONE! On our right was an open door which looks like a private area. I assumed they're hiding from the fans, since so many people seem to be hanging out in the basement. So anyway, after the bathroom, Tina and I headed up... my spidey (stalker) senses tells me to take a peek at the private room.

LO AND BEHOLD, I SEE JACKSON, HIS HAIR DOWN AT THE TIME IN A RED BANDANNA!

Tina, so not used to my sign language, had no idea what I was telling her. I ended up squealing 'red bandanna!!!' like a loon, while making circular figures on top of my head.

Tina: Maj and I took turns leaving for smokes during the opening acts. So, Maj went for one final one before the Monkeys went on stage.

Maj: DUUUUDE!!! Before this, I went downstairs once again for another pee-pee time. At this point I was a little tipsy. I'M A FLOGGING LIGHTWEIGHT. DON'T JUDGE ME, OKAY???

ANYWHOO, This time I saw a glimpse of Jerad's mohawk on the way up to the main lounge. Call me Edward Cullen, stalker extraordinaire.

Tina: So, I get a call on my cell from Maj, but all I can hear is, "Get out here. Get out here!"

So, thinking she's in trouble, I go running outside like a lunatic.

Maj: IT IS AN EMERGENCY!!! So I was smoking outside when I heard the girl at the other side of the wall call, "Jackson!". I stood up (yes, I was sitting on the floor outside the Tattoo Parlour).

HEY, HEY IT'S THE MONKEYS!!! Jackson had on a tan trench coat, hair down.

So I quickly tweeted Tina to come outside before they leave:

@JaspersDestiny fusking hell thgeylr eoutside cime!!z! http://myloc.me/4OscM

I figured that Tina may not get her twat on time, so I called her instead.

Tina: and in my loud voice: "Maj? Maj? Where are you? Are you okay???"

She saunters up to me and is eyeing '9 o'clock'.

So, I look over to where she's all shifty-eyed, and I stare Jackson right in the face....and I promptly SQUEAL from shock!

Kaylene: hahhahaha!

Tina: We then burst into a fit of giggles and they go back inside, but this guy who tours with them (he's their 'writer'?) is still outside, so we talk to him and get pictures. (Apparently it's Brady Bell, brother of Spencer Bell).


Maj: Poor dude looks like he's about to die from embarrassment from fangirls. He's soooo freaking adorable.

(Orson Brawl: the opening song at our show)




Tina: THEN...After during the show, I scream "Hot Buttery Pretzel" and mohawk dude smirks at me...but they end up going with "Dental Floss".

(We give you two video options here. In the first video - taken on the opposite side of where Maj and I are in the club - if you listen closely near the beginning, you WILL hear me belting out HOT, BUTTERRRRRYYYY PRETTTTZELLLL twice! In the second video, I swear the person taking the video is directly behind us. This video is WAY better quality and you can't really hear me, but you keep seeing my hand or Maj's hand up taking photos, and you can hear us laugh a few times! Jackson is BEAUTIFUL in the second video...)







Maj: They were asking people to leave, but some people refused to, thinking that the Monkeys may come out again to mingle with the audience. I told Tina to go outside and hope they'll go out for another smoke break.

Tina: After the show, we leave and light up a cigarette outside and BOOF! The Monkeys come out to smoke.

Maj is BRAVE!

Maj: *scoffs* BRAVE? I HAD to push you so we could strike up a convo with them.

Tina: ME? Chickenshit Extremo...

I cannot look at them, but Maj is grinning like a fucking lunatic at them.

Maj: DUUUUUUUDE!!!! NO WONDER JACKSON'S ALL LOOKING SCURRRED!!! I MUST BE LOOKING AT THEM AS IF I WANT TO EAT THEM ALIVE!!! Well, I do, but, they don't know that...

Tina: And it's JUST us with them...like, they're RIGHT THERE.

So, I finally grow a pair of balls and turn to them and say, "Great show, guys!"

They're all shy at first and say, "Thanks".

I then ask bearded guy (the other Ben) if we can take a pic with them. He politely declines, saying they prefer to not take pics with fans.

Cool, I say. Segue into small talk...

We talk about them coming to Toronto again. I say, you should all go to Montreal...that it's a great city!

That piques their interest and we continue on to Vancouver talk, Buffalo wings talk - cuz a group is going to the Buffalo show...

We're still smoking, and Jackson is hiding behind mohawk dude - WHO IS FUCKING HOT AS HELL!

Mohawk dude looks me up and down and SMILES at me. He is keenly interested in talking to us. They're all cool - except for Jackson. Poor dude has probably been rushed too many times by teenagers.

Maj: By this time, his ponytail's off and he's wearing a beanie. LOL.

Tina: I couldn't understand how hot he could look on stage...but every time he was outside having a smoke, he looked like Cheech & Chong's lost Mexican relative.

Bandanna, hair down, etc.

On stage? Hair in ponytail...and OHHHHHHH so HAWT!

We finally bid them a good night and they said to us, "Be careful going home, ladies!"

OH and I screamed Uncle's name out very loud when he was onstage and I made him SMILE WIDELY.

OH

And Uncle was right next to us ordering a drink at the bar before the show.

That was our experience :)

Kaylene: So..Hm..I LOVE the fact that you guys had a great time, and I LOVE the fact that Jared checked you out, and I CANNOT believe you were THAT close, and I'm so happy for Maj I could scream, BUT...Jackson sounds like he's turning into a diva bitch.

Tina: You know...I should post our Monkeys post (me and Maj) just as I typed it out to you above...cuz that shit's too funny.

Kaylene: Yep. Yep. Diva Bitch. Motherfucker.

DO it!!!!

Tina: HAHAHAHAHA

Yeah, and it seemed like they were all there to protect him.

Kaylene: Just use this entire convo. JACKSON RATHBONE IS TURNING INTO A DIVA BITCH>

Per Kaylene in an email:

Confirmed! Diva Bitch! This is on his fan website, your show ladies:

Basically my friend Char and I got there around 3, shopped and went to the venue at about 6:15, doors opened around 6:45 and we still got front and center surprisingly. First two bands played, and then 100 Monkeys came out. They sang Ugly Girl, Wing on Fire, Looker, The Monkey Song..and I forget the rest. But when they were asking for a word to use to sing about, they picked mine aha! That was nice, it was dental floss lol. We recorded it but my audio is so crap, I’m sure someone will post it soon. So yeah then after they finished the venue started kicking people out, we went outside to wait for the band by this other door. It was four of us waiting, then this nice girl who was part of like the crew came out and said she saw Jackson inside. She said she asked him for a picture; her words: “Jackson I know you’re really busy but can I get a picture?” then he said “you’re right, I am really busy,” and walked away. Now this is what she told us but like..ouch lol. Then after they came out but had zero time for pictures or autographs, Jared said bye and Ben G said sorry and thanks for coming, but yeah they like ran out and zoomed away, kinda sad. There was no merch because apparently they couldn’t bring it over the border, silly Canada lol. But it was a really good and fun show.

Tina: LOL

Maj: See, the more I think about it, the more I'm peeved that Jackson thought we're just like those other crazy fangirls (AGAIN, TINA... YOU SHOULD'VE WARNED ME. I MUST'VE HAD CRAZY EYES GOING ON AT THE TIME). And then the more I think about it again, the more I'm peeved about crazy fangirls giving the rest of us a bad name. We kept our distance from them, we spoke to them as if they're normal people. We left as soon as they started coming out of the venue, 'cause it looked like they were starting to get uncomfortable.

Tina: I had a bunch of peeps on Twitter swearing they were going to take up smoking....

Kaylene: Well come on, I expect it to a certain extent, but now he's too good to talk to people? For Christ's sake.

Finding new Jasper.

Tina: Yeah...it was weird. And to be truthful...I didn't really care all that much. If he wants to be ignored, so be it. I had FAR TOO MUCH FUN with Jared(?)

Kaylene: Yep, that's his name. He's married, Tina.

Tina: Don't find a new Jasper...Jasper is fine. The funny thing is that when I look at Jackson, I don't see Jasper. But, Jackson on celluloid is Jasper...you know what I mean?


Tina: And Jackson singing...Invisible Monster (???) was fuckhot.

THAT is a great song!

Kaylene: Oh, he puts on a great show, and he is hotter than shit.

Tina: I know!!!

Which is part of the reason why Jackson in person is NOT Jasper, and Jackson on film IS Jasper.

Kaylene: I get what you're saying, but the boy has turned into a DIVA.

Maj: I'm quite surprised with his last night's demeanour. I was expecting a charming, friendly guy (though I couldn't really blame him). I've seen him from interviews and whatnot, and he's suave and has confidence. HE WAS CLEARLY LACKING THOSE THINGS LAST NIGHT. I'm just gonna chalk it up to their non-stop traveling.

Tina: Yeah...or he's just really off tonight. You see, I have no idea what he's like in person. On stage he has a great persona, but off stage he could just be really quiet...or shy...or having a bad day...? I don't know. I still close my eyes and picture a version of him. A taller, 'Godlier' *snort* version.

Maj: TOTALLY AGREE WITH ALL THIS!

Kaylene: Yeah, me too.

Tina: The other dude who sings and Jared are really personable.

The other dude who sings has a GREAT voice.

Jackson, too...but the other one is more talented with the singing.

Kaylene: Ben Graupner

Maj: ZOMG, he laughed when I whined like a little bitch about how it isn't fair to Toronto for them to have a concert in Vancouver more than once.

Tina: Jackson blew a trumpet (or something) tonight.

Ben...

Kaylene: He's my favorite.

Tina: See, I should be shot for not knowing this shit.

Ben is fun.

Bearded guy, though, is like that hairy weirdo from The Hangover. And he sweats like a fucking pig.

Kaylene: I didn't going in, now I own GRAPE and I love the song Reaper btw...

I know. Gross, huh?

Tina: Do they have the song Involuntary Monster???

Maj says that in concert it's awesome, but on record, not as great.

Kaylene: er..hold on, I'm looking for it.

Um, are you sure that's what it's called?

Tina: Something 'Monster'. It's about drinking at the wrong time, or something.

Kaylene: I know this I think, I cannot think....because I cannot hear it...

Tina: *she's a poet and she don't even know it*

Maj: I prefer listening to them perform live than the studio version.

(It's called Invisible Monsters. Here's a clip from their Vancouver show):




Kaylene: By the way, that writer you talked to? He's been chronicalling their travels on their website. You might be in it?

Maj: He's adorably shy. He confirmed the Buffalo tour, no date set. He looked so uncomfortable in the pic. AND NO, IT'S NOT BECAUSE I WAS PINCHING HIS BUTT! I wish I did.... *sigh*

Tina: LOL...that would be funny. We took a pic with him. And we were with a very drunk 20 something girl who was given a monkey tail to wear by one of the monkeys...

Maj: She said Ben G gave her the monkey tail. Lucky bitch.