Idreamofeddy recommends The Little Peen That Could by Lou-La
Have you ever wondered exactly what went down during the Isle Esme chapter of Breaking Dawn? Wonder no more, the whole story is right here. Warning: This O/S is seriously cracked out. M for bad words and lemons. Took 3rd in "The Littlest Peen" contest. Edward/Bella. Rated M.
Yep, I'm rec'ing The Little Peen That Could. Why? Because, dammit, we all need a great big fucking dose of happy, and if this one shot doesn't make you laugh and feel all mushy (because it is sweet)inside, there's something seriously wrong with your grumpy self.
So TLPTC was a contest entry for The Littlest Peen Contest, and, yes, it's a BD honeymoon story. I honestly don't believe I'll ever be able to read another BD honeymoon scene again and not think of this story because it's just that wonderful and written so well that you can actually visualize it. And that's almost as equally disturbing and cute as turtle sex.
Edward has a small penis. It's itty bitty. This one shot examines the possibility that Edward was lacking as a human seventeen year old boy, and even though his body matured and somewhat grew when he was changed, his penis did not. When he's hard for Bella, he's rocking a 3 and a half inch chub.
Now, of course this story will make you laugh, but once you've reached the end you'll have a new appreciation for loving our canon couple. Bella in this little one shot is wonderful. You see her as her insecure self, yet she is so strong and such a rock for Edward when every shred of dignity has been laid and bared. Here are a couple of snippets:
Emmett tormented in ways that I could hardly stand. Picturing his own good-and-plenty next to my itty bitty. He tried to imagine me having intercourse, and failed because he couldn't see how something so small could even work. Once he went so far as to imagine taking me. To say I was never comfortable in Emmett's presence again was an understatement. At least though, I knew in that moment that I definitely was not gay, and I certainly questioned Emmett's own sexuality.
I grabbed it harshly. I wanted to tear it off. My body reacted, even to the tight grip, making it pulse in my fingers and send more venomous precum out the tip.
No one wants you, I told it. It didn't care. It throbbed again. I pulled on it, hard, intending to rip it clean off my body, but Bella's hand landed on my wrist and I froze.
So definitely worth the read. Go read it and smile.
Jasper’s Bella recommends Just One More Thing You Want to End by HumanShield
Twilight Alternate Ending. EPOV. Edward. Rated M.
I had to ask around for someone to recommend an Edward one shot for me to recommend for today. I am NOT an Edward fan AT ALL, so I am struggling with this month being Edward month. But I am sucking it up and taking it like a Lamb and doing my best to support our blog and my fellow sweet, little, succulent Lambs.
Anyhoo, I asked around on twitter and the wonderful Kitty_Cullen sent me the link to this one shot. Thank you, Dove Eater. I appreciate it.
I have to say that I really enjoyed this one shot. I don't even know where to begin to tell you guys about it. I was mesmerized the whole time I was reading it and I couldn't turn away from it. When I got to the end, all I could say was...WOW...just wow! That was incredible!
HumanShield shows us an alternate ending to Twilight. We see flashbacks of Edward and Bella’s time together and we get a glimpse of what their future might be, as well as one hell of an ending.
Normally, I have something snarky to say about Edward, or I would call him Assward. But I am refraining in this rec because I couldn't find fault with anything. The writing is done really well and it turns into a great little story. HumanShield completely made me believe that this ending is possible.
Even if you aren't an Edward fan, please go read this. You won't be disappointed.
Maelyn recommends Surprises by KatieBelleCullen
Edward surprises Bella after a rather personal and intimate moment. But the real surprise is his reaction. My entry for the Dirty Talking Edward Contest. Bella/Edward. Rated M.
This is actually a two-shot story, but I'm rec'ing it as a one-shot anyway. I'd say just read the first chapter, but I won't for two reasons: One, I don't think you'll be able to do it; and two, I liked the second chapter even better than the first.
So, naughty little Bella is in her bed, minding her own business and fantasizing about Edward. Of course, as any normal, healthy woman would do, she begins to play with herself. Considering the amount of UST (Unresolved Sexual Tension) between her and Edward, I really can't blame her. It's truly sad when it's the guy leaving the girl unsatisfied. Pfft.
Anyway, so she's laying there fantasizing and fingering herself... when Edward comes in. Oh, boy howdy! Does it get good from there! Unf! Okay, I need to say that again. UNF!! What ensues is some dirty talking Edward and mutual masturbation that can turn your panties wet in an instant. And that's just the FIRST chapter.
The second chapter is the next day when Edward takes her to an empty Cullen house and blindfolds her, using his voice to entice and arouse her. When he finally takes off the blindfold, she finds herself in a nearly pitch black room where she can't see him at all unless he steps into a moonbeam.
Add in some touching that starts light and teasing, and then escalates into full blown groping and being thrust against the wall, and you have a hell of a hot story.
I so very highly recommend this story if you like yummy smut with masturbation, heavy petting, and dirty talking that is guaranteed to get you all hot and bothered.
MissMaj recommends Good Morning Bella by ronOReds
It's Bella's last Thursday as a human, and the Cullen siblings introduce Bella to a concept called "Thirsty Thursdays." Listen as Edward recounts the story of her crazy night! Edward. Rated T.
Bella is about to be changed and the Cullen siblings (I'm sure it's mostly Emmett's idea) declare a "Thirsty Thursday". What could be the best way to celebrate her last few days as a human?
She wakes up from her drunken stupor the next day unable to remember what happened the night before. Edward has to recount the previous night's activities to her - keg stand, a quick drive to Mickey D's, and rapping were among the few tricks up Bella's sleeve.
Surprisingly, Edward is a bit OOC in this o/s. He is actually amused by the whole thing, which I loved. And Bella? Who wouldn't love a drunken Bella? I have a soft spot for the drunk chick. It was a fun read. It had me laughing 'til I cried from beginning to end.
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