So, anyone who knows me well knows that I carry bleach with me at all times when I have to read anything where Alice is involved. Mmmm...well, for the most part. There are a few fics out there where Alice is actually...decent. And it's usually where I don't have to heave and grunt my way through a chapter devoted to SHOPPING (like, for real? Why must ANYONE be subjected to THAT?) But read I do (says Yoda) because I fear I may miss some 'important' plot development...which NEVER happens...really...yeah.
Actually, one of the only fics I have ever read where I think Alice's clichéd persona is a true fit AND enjoyable is SassenachWench's entry to my The Worst Story Ever Contest, called I Messed My Panties. Here's an idea:
Two seconds later a little black pointy blur zoomed into the room. "SHOPPING!! SHOPPING!! SHOPPING!!!" it squealed and ran out again.
And again here:
Two seconds later a little black pointy blur zoomed into the room. "SHOPPING!! SHOPPING!! SHOPPING!!!" it squealed and ran out again.
And...then again:
Two seconds later a little black pointy blur zoomed into the room. "SHOPPING!! SHOPPING!! SHOPPING!!!" it squealed and ran out again.
Why do I dislike Alice so much? Meh, for many reasons, but I think it's mostly because she just ADORES shopping so much. Besides, she's fictional; she can't get too strung out if someone doesn't like her, right?
Enjoy:
OMP! That was funny. I'm not a huge fan of Alice either. I personally think she's a manipulative biotch.
ReplyDeleteOn a side note, has anyone ever noticed in the Twilight movie that Jasper is ALWAYS looking at Bella. And not just in a I wanna eat you way but in a I wanna "eat" you way. I'm just saying.