*THERE ARE NO 'SPOILERS'* *CELLPHONE CAMERAS SUCK TITTY*
I arrived at our meet-up location first, and Sherry soon followed. The plan was to meet at Much Music before heading to Little India on Queen Street - Maj had NEVER had Indian food before - EVER! I don't know how this is even remotely possible, considering she lives in Toronto's largest Indian district - Scarborough. I mean, ANYONE is a minority in Scarborough compared to its prevailing population. But I digress... She claims to be afraid of HOT food. That was her reason.
So, Sherry and I are standing on the corner of Queen and John waiting for Maj to arrive so we could eat - but Maj is stuck in TTC hell. But Sherry almost got accosted by a VERY drunk man, who was holding two open bottles of moonshine...either that or it was his urine. I couldn't tell. All I know is that he got VERY close to her and the look of fear on her face was priceless. But can you blame him? The woman has some large knockers, and he was probably looking for a 'fill-up' at the boobie corral:
So, rather than waiting to see what degenerate could approach me, we made our way to Little India and texted Maj to just meet us there.
Fun food times then transpired. While Sherry and I chose a vegetarian route, Majikins decided she liked her MEAT and ordered a sampler platter. I told her to not order the Tandoori Chicken (because I hate the stuff), but she got a portion on her platter and LOVED it...go figure.
Maj also got to try lamb for the first time and loved it - she said it tasted like beef, and yeah, she's right. It's probably my favourite meat on the planet. But she also got some Indian sausage *snort* and I decided I was far too frisky to let THAT slide, so here you go, Lambchops - my contribution to Maj's House of Debauchery (ain't they attractive...? I think my gag reflex is kicking into high gear in that second pic):
So we saddled up after dinner was done and walked the short block to the theatre. There wasn't a single line - we just walked right in! And we had great seats...everything was wonderful!
Until the movie started late because...wait for it...the fire department had to be called in because the pretzel machine was on fire.
Like, how PERFECT is THAT? We couldn't stop laughing...
So, we're comfy in our seats and the film begins... Maj and Sherry are comfy, watching the greatness that was Eclipse:
Me? Not so comfy... I got stuck sitting next to some lame-ass guy who was there by himself. And I think he beats the entire fandom in terms of being a FAN of the MOVIE franchise. Why do I write MOVIE franchise? Because when the movie started, he asked aloud, "Is this the right movie?" I mean, he must not have ever read the books... It's pretty obvious it's Eclipse at the beginning...if you have a little imagination.
Yeah...
I was entranced with his brand of crazy... The dude was doing fist pumps when the wolves would show up onscreen, he would sigh when someone kissed. He would suck his teeth and say, "Oh, no you didn't!" when someone onscreen was especially snarky or witty. And he actually fucking SIGHED aloud when Edward proposed to Bella in his bedroom and she said "Yes."
SIGHED!
And the dude was not GAY. Nuh uh... He was just fucking crazy. Like, 18 year old CRAZY.
And then he fucking clapped when Victoria bit the dust. And WOOTed. He went, "WOOT!" At that point, Maj and Sherry looked over - because he was pretty fucking obvious.
Anyway, we had a great time together! Memories are made of these, right? *whispers to self* So, this is why I never went to see the other two films in theatre... SMH.
I hope everyone who HAS seen the film enjoyed it, and for those who haven't seen it - ENJOY when you do!
P.S. I saw a LOT of tweets go out last night before the showing about NOT tweeting SPOILERS. Dudes...I'll give it to you like this:
Victoria is creating a newborn army to wipe Bella off the face of the earth as retaliation for James' death. We see Rose's and Jasper's histories... and a big fucking fight at the end between the newborns and the Cullens/Wolves. Y'all read the books, right? Don't tell me you're like the crazy-ass dude who was sitting next to me, okay? Other than saying I loved this movie and that it was the best film of the three released so far, what can I say that could spoil anything? I liked Bryce. 'Nuff said. I'm still #TeamJasper. And, yeah, my inner teenage girl swooned whenever Jacob was onscreen. Y'all know my feelings about Edward. No big surprise there. But Maj and Sherry said afterward they felt 'canon' again *cringes* (dude's freaky-looking! WTF?)
Kisses,
Tina
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