Tina's Back! And We Missed Her So! TAKE DEUX

Last Thursday, much to our excitement, we made major boo-boo when we thought that our beloved Tina's coming home from her glorious vacation in Turkey.

Imagine our surprise when we got this from Tina herself, in the comments section:

I am NOT BACK!!!! I am ın Izmir, peoples!!! I don't come home until Saturday!!! And I have limited internet connectıon, so I cannot even read thıs post yet!!!

Uh, yeah. Face palm nor head desk does not even cover it.

So according Tina, she'll be home sometime later this afternoon. We're posting this one more time, and for Wendy's sake she'd better be on Canadian soil by the end of this day. We're running out of Jack Daniels IV to calm her down, but I think her Jacob avi's working as a supplement. For now.    

BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE!

Before we begin, let's admire the hotness that is AngryWard.

This portion is dedicated to Wendy.
 P.S. This is all Donna's idea, BTW.

*fans self* Okay, back to our original scheduled program. We thank you for your patience.

TINA'S BACK!!!

To Whom It May Concern;

It has come to my attention that a certain Ovis aries is returning to our terrain. I am very galvnize when I was edified of your influx. 

If you must know, since your nonattendance, Donna and I have burgeon predilection toward Edward and Bella. And one Saturday dusk, I was inebriated and Donna contrived to chronicle everything that I have done for that day. We must never pronounce that day again.

We are forecasting your accession and we are hunting for your incongruity.

Endemic,

Maj

P.S.

I must benediction the Thesaurus for all the sustenance in my missive. I am not astute enough to esteem of this doctrine. I was galvanized by Friends' interlude where Joey formulates dispatch of persuasion for Monica and Chandler's naturalizing. Be obliged, Friends. Be obliged.

Here are the balance of the breed as they partake in your hospitality salutation.  

Tina,

HoW I have missd you so. WOOD I've missed the romanse, WOOD the love, WOOD the advice, and my freind. WOOD You'll be pleased to see that I've left your inboz very empty, though I have tons at the readY for your wonderful beta skillz. I HAVE EIGHT INCOMPLET DOCS. Nothing magor has happened, I GOT LAID and it's been a pretty quite two week. HE MADE ME COME I can't wait to hear all about your'e vacation, and any romantic introludes you'd discovered. I LOVE DICK It's so wonderfull to know your safe and back, SPEAKING OF ASS where you belong. The first camping trip was great, TATTOOS though it rains quiet alot. My CORK POPS EVERYTIME I SEE HIM I met a nice, yung man LIKES IT ROUGH whose treats me nothing but proper. MY PUSSY EVISERATED. He's tought me how to fish, HE LIKES TO EAT IT and he has a wonderful dog. NO SHIT, THE DOG IS GREAT. But how was turkey?! I”M IN LOVE! How was Troiy?! PETER INCARNAIT Anyways, it's so good to had you back.

Lots of LOVE,

Kay 

Weaks N Reevew from LambBaton

Hey y'all.  Ahs fixin to tail Teenah bout Ar weaks whilest her ben afar.

Us sheep, well we'd ben all tore up that yew'd lebt us.  Yew shudenoughta leb us agen cawse we jest seam ta sit har an rest a spell. Ah knoed yew tawt us better'n that. Yew best not had an awfullest tine whilest yew's ben gawn.

Yew da baws. Ther ain't know ned fo a conniption fit, We maid sum effuts to git stuf dun butt we'd all ben on vacasun 2 ann knot wanning to Wawk.

Seams like yew'd ben gawn fo munts. We shore ded miss yew. donut be worrin' we'd bad-mouth yew whilest yew'd ben gawn.

Kae, dun gawn an git ah man wit sum gud wood ana fishin' skilz.  hes the purtiest fahn-lookin' thing to. thank she'd git her raffle an shot summin.

Dona ann Mahg ain't dun no launder, gues 'em kidz is nekkid.

May ain't ben round hear, Ah dun knowd wear shes at, but shainteer.

Truffully, Ah been layin' up scene mah hubban ben gon ann Ah ain't dun squat to hep non.  Ah's tarred wit a chronic case of laziness.

Everthang's all messed up, Jewant tah fix it?   Dollin' we'us foolin' round at yew.

Sooo naught mooch haz hapened whule you wuz on vacasion.  I spant sum times on FFn searchin fo Nomadz fics.  An lotz of times rollplayin wit my caracters, espeshully my mates Caius an Collin. 

Oh an MiniMaj an me went wit mom an sis to bingo.  I won moneyz an toilet paperz!!  Not sur if we telled u dat yet.

I wuz searchin fo pics an things for my mates birfday next weak an found sum I thaught wuz funnies…

U don’t c this evry day…

Dis jus seemd true…

A lamb tat!  U think she vajazzled to?

Wellz, Im reel glad ur home!  We’z kinda lost witout u!

Luvs and lolz

Mae

From Amanda:
(note from BigMaj: Hi, MiniMaj, Hiiiiii!!!)

so teena herez whut u missd whyle u were gon 

so u kno how the moon is ther an stuff well gues whut

the moon is aliv

thats wright the moon up ther is aliv akordin to allyx she told me its one bigass old sparkle he isnt too brigt animor so he only shinez when his mate the sun smilez at him

aneewai allyx fild me in on the histori of evere sparkle freind that shes ever had ecksitin rigt i kno i may writ a storie about that maybe

aneewai so how was your vakashun good great wondrful thats nics now go and bayta some storys i mean stores storis damm I furgot how to speel see wii missd u bak her in nurth ameerika sinse u dont live in the usa. 

From LambWhale

TINAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  Majwentonabenderandhadtwoshotsoftequilaandwasdrunkfortwodaysandthenshewashungoverforthreeandshewas *gaspsforair* DRUNKTWEEETINGeverybodyandIsaveditbecauseitwassodamnfunnyanditwentsomethinglikethis:

MissMaj

Lightweighht Mhj isd ligjhwiewgt.
Donz't worrty, I'll be siogber in abfit fiteenj mniutets.
 

Ot not. I jfut had anotjer shot.

Rmeber thid cus thid mfy be thr only thimr youkzll revr see mr drtubk twhrer

Tlk to mr ppl!!!

SOKayandItriedtocommunicatewithher...:

@MerinaGreen oj dhit, tmoroe's oru tirn?v

  

@Idreamofeddy I lovs yoiu jay!!! Woeed foever sand evaerrr!zb!

apparentlyshewasNOTtalkingaboutjustinbeiberbutwasactuallytalkingaboutlaminateflooringwhoknew?

MissMaj
My entier bofy is puldating... 

  

Nrvm. I'mf too tieed to tlakm

Ti eall tietter pweeps!b!b!!! I LOVe yrou all sof ugkin mufh!!,a

7m weatigb jedus fluip fldus. Drubk twertubg ib bberty sudksd dibnrhy bald. 

Uhfhhhhh

I tjink I'$ gerttibhg sodk. D/

Mirher fuxk itks bad enough thast I have sa spkitting headfache fron too muxg tequils, I haver to deal woth E who's veru chatty wheb drubj

Noe he's snirng WItH huiccups. FML

NOTONLYWASSHEDRUNKSHECHANGEDHERAVITOallEDWARDalltheTIME.

SHESCROSSINGOVERTOTHEDARKSIDEIMAYJOINHER.

IMHAVINGSECONDTHOUGHTSABOUTJASPER.
OHGODICANTBELIEVEIT

WEVEBEENREADING...E/BFICS

THERE

IVESAIDIT

E/BficsE/BficsE/Bfic

ANDYOUKNOWWHATELSE?


ITHINKEDWARDMIGHTBEALIVE.

TALKMEDOWNTINATALKMEDOWN!

*le sigh*
They're so perfect together... la amore