Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Wednesday One Shots for 09-08-10


IdreamofEddy recomends Virginal Dominatrix of Love by Whitlock Harem

Edward meets his soul mate, Idreamofeddy! Started as a "What not to do in a lemon" exercise. CRACKFIC, LEMON! Rated M AH,AU,OOC and Original Character!

My one shot rec this week should not be a surprise. Well, actually it SHOULD be. I’m really lax on my blog participation lately because A) I’m trying to finish my story, B) This fandom has gone fucking nuts and I'm a little sick of it, C) I don’t read very many AH stories, D) I’m stuck in a depressive rut that I don’t believe I’ll ever surface from, and E) I’m more than likely going to take that twenty minute trip to a certain man’s house because he thinks it’s 'love'.

But I HAVE to recommend this story. It's a reminder that, yes, I do indeed still love aspects of this fandom.

It’s not everyday you’re used as a character for someone else’s fic, and it’s not every day you have EVERY superlative term available in mind while you try to live the dream inside a very well written story of what NOT to write. Did that make sense? Try reading THIS.

No matter how fucked up it is, I can proudly say that I, IdreamofEddy, aka Kaylene, have fucked Edward Cullen.

And I have even done his laundry. I also have to give kudos to Whitlock Harem's beta, stitchcat, because I could just imagine what this would have done to mine.

Oh, but I am humbled, and I’m humbled by the gals over at Whitlock Harem. I gave an interview - a really unique interview - a few weeks back, and it’s safe to say this all started with just one comment I made in that interview. It's a comment I shall pay dearly for for the rest of my life because lo and behold, my dream HAS come true in the most fucked up way imaginable.

How wonderful.

There's an excerpt down below. I wish I could have done this rec more justice, but humor just isn’t running through my blood right now. What is is heart. It’s the fact that I have met some really unique and wonderful individuals in this fandom who I call friends and who support me no matter what and no matter what my opinion is, even if they call me bitch behind my back. I am still so honored with artist’s respect as an artist, and I guess I kind of am. These ladies here are artists that should be respected and treasured. Enjoy this one shot. I did and I always will.

Whitlock Harem gives you Lispward. Oh, so sexay...

"Ah, I will make you mine, thweet paragon of womanlineth," he murmured into the thundering, crashing, heavy-metal beat of a love song that touched his heart with its tenderness. Thankfully the blaring music kept anyone from hearing the lisp that inevitably afflicted his words whenever he spoke. "Never fear, my perfect, gorgeouth beauty. I will make your claiming a thing of thuch pleathure the heaventh will weep with jealouth envy."

Edward wiped the drool from his chin. He'd found her at last. His fated mate, his perfect mistress, the other half of his soul, mind, heart, spleen, ribs, and assorted other anatomical parts which had never felt whole until now. He'd found her at last! The lock to his key, the oars to his dingy, the cream in his oreos, the plumbing for his snake.

Merina Green recommends Lovely Encounter by emmettsmyfave

J Jenks POV in Breaking Dawn when Bella comes to him. Just exactly what is he thinking when Bella comes to him? One shot

My Wednesday One Shot this week is Lovely Encounter, by emmettsmyfave. I've always been interested in what the humans think when they interact with the Cullens, and I figured Jenks would be a great place to start – after all, he's 'worked' for them and been associated with them for a very long time. It seems that the Cullens have their human 'servants', much as the Volturi have theirs. Of course, the Cullens aren't going to eat theirs at the end of the day, but still...can you imagine what it would be like to work for Jasper? Especially when Jasper doesn't want you to breathe a word to anyone about your associations. I like to think that Mr. Jenks was more than a little releaved to deal with Bella least in the short term. Lovely Encounter is the interactions between Bella and Jenks during Breaking Dawn, from Jenk's perspective.


  1. IdreamofEddy - You have no idea how many glasses of wine that took . . but I have to admit I was wetting myself laughing the whole time. They did an amazing job, you really deserved the tribute - but perhaps not the sexth god that came included with it. You do know I'll never be able to look you in the eye, right? Now I know where you keep your whip . . .:-)

  2. I read pieces of the one shot last night to a group of gals I work with. EVERYBODY knows where I keep my whip now. It's safe to say that even I can never look at my puss the same way again. Kudos, ladies, reading this out loud had me gleeting all over the place. :)

  3. Words failed me yesterday, and since I'm feelin' shitty this morn, I came to read it again today for a pick-me-up, and they still aren't comin'.

    So I'll keep this simple: thank you muchly for the props and the rec. Means a LOT.

    <3 <3 <3

    Oh! And Stitch is an AMAZING beta. We're lucky she's lubs us....