Aroooooo! Get your licks on and scruff some fur, it's Wolves Month at ALASL. Know a great wolves fic that you would like to see recommended? Email us at alteredandsacrificial@gmail.com or tweet us @ALASL if you have a suggestion!
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"I'd never been one of those women who found foreign accents sexy until I met Edward. Now, even plaid made me horny." Bella is in love with her best friend, Scottish expat Edward, and she'll do anything for him. Anything. AH. E/B.
O, Ryeward, how I love thee. Edward in a kilt. Need I say more? Well, I probably should. But really, just let that image bounce around in your brain for a bit. Is it just me, or is there something about a man in a kilt? Well, not just any man...
Not this:
But maybe this:
Or this:
And remember:
Anyway...
Coming Through the Rye by Mac214 is an AH/EB fic that I found a couple months ago and instantly fell in love with. It's a romantic comedy, and every time I saw an update in my inbox, it made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Well, you won't get that feeling because Mac just completed it (congratulations!), but that just means you'll get to enjoy the story all at once!
In Mac214's world, Edward is a Scotsman in America who finds himself suddenly facing deportation out of the country due to the recent loss of his job. Bella is his co-worker and “best bud” of two years, and she's been nursing more than a crush for him for most of that time. When mutual friends suggest that they get married to prevent Edward from getting tossed out on his ear, it sounds like a good idea to Bella. Of course it does! Who wouldn't want to marry Edward-in-a-kilt in the hopes of getting to know his boaby better? (Want that interpreted? Read the story!) Mac214's story is well written, and Edward's dialogue is done in a Scotch accent that you can almost hear when you read it. I swear, it almost makes me swoon just seeing it in writing. And his INTERNAL dialogue? Well, I'll warn you, Ryeward is all man. He wouldn't hurt a fly and he's a nice guy, but....he farts. And he likes tits. A lot. And, well, he's just your every day kind of guy. A REAL guy. He's not the “magical, do-no-wrong, super-man Edward” we see in so many fics. He's the kind of guy you fall in love with and take home to keep, even if he does insist on leaving his sweaty, smelly rugby gear hidden in a corner where it starts to grow things. Because lets face it, he has an accent. And he wears a kilt. And you can forgive a lot if those two things are included in the package.
Read Mac214's Coming Through the Rye and see how THESE best laid plans work out for Ryeward and Bella. Trust me. You won't be disappointed. In fact, you'll be wanting to join Clan Cock just like the rest of her readers.
*Creeps out of the basement and blinks at the bright lights*
OHAI, sheeples! Do you remember waaaaaaaaaaaaay back when I rec'd BellaFlan for her Emmett OS? Good shit, yes? Well, I've been so out of touch that I hadn't realised she'd written Becoming Bella Swan (insert fangirl style jumping up and down - the lovely, lovely lady emailed it to me to read on holiday - j'adore her!), which I motherfunking LOVELOVELOVED! But then it was over, and I was indeed a very sad panda.
Woe was me!
But then...
Sweet Tooth happened. And praise the lawd! I was saved from the monotony of a non craic lifestyle, and I giggled, and snorted, AND gigglesnorted my way through the six chapters I found up online. If you haven't found it yet and you can get down with a little AH diiiiiiirty, funny fuckery, then ZOMG are you in for a TREAT! A buttercream-peniscake-cannolipube-confectionary-treat!!! *disney sigh* Written as a collab between BellaFlan and Mac214 (of 'Relative Wind' dilfward acclaim - it's on the reading list, but you had me at the mention of Dilfward, woman), it's seriously cute, awkward fun and it'll have you chuckling away as the pair navigates you through their delicious world of dentophilla and just pure WIN! It's AH Edward and Bella, and other characters from the saga are popping in where you least expect them (Best Rose? I think so...), so don't go expecting traditional cannon (and who would want it with this? seriously? When you read it you'll see what I mean). I won't ruin it with spoilers, but I will tell you that I won't ever be able to say buttercream in a normal way again ha ha! Mmmmmm buttercream!
Words can't adequately describe how much I enjoyed reading what they have up so far, and I'm salivating like Bella over a bouquet of pussy cakes at the prospect of MOAR chaps, so I made them something involving the best that googleSPECIAL offers me:
Here's the official FFn blurb:
Sweet Tooth - Come to Pink Cookie, where porn never tasted this good. Erotic baker, Edward Cullen has a new obsession in the form of Bella Swan. Will his buttercream satisfy her sweet tooth? AH, OOC, Comedy/Romance.
And yes, that IS a sprinklepenis in the banner, and if you stare hard enough at the background you'll see what THAT is tee hee! *pats google and whispers sweet nothings in its ear*
Twilight/Shop Around the Corner : AU Edward and Bella become friends on an online massive-multiplayer roleplaying game. What will happen when they meet in real life, but don't know it? BxE. Rated K+
I found this story in the first few months of reading fanfiction and I thought it was so cute and lovable. For those who aren’t aware, I’m a bit of a gamer girl. Of course, with my addiction to Twilight fanfiction and the like, the gaming has been on the back burner lately, but I still love it. So when I saw this story summary, I just had to read it.
What I found was such a wonderful, fluffy short story that is well written and has such interesting characters and storyline. I’ve been in relationships with fellow gamers myself, so it’s easy to see where Edward and Bella are coming from in the fic and how you can fall in love with someone’s mind before ever having physical contact. In addition, some of my closest friends are girls I met online, so I can also see how ‘virtual’ friends can be just as important as ‘real’ friends, as some people term them.
As the writer says:
“You see, it doesn't really matter where you meet someone. Both online and real life, they're just the same person with a different face. I know this because I first met Edward on the internet, and together we're as real as real can be. Some of our other guild friends have also shown themselves to be some of the closest people to us we know."
I guess I can empathize with so much of the story, it makes it mean that much more to me. Of course, I’ve never had the instance where they end up being people I know in ‘real life’, but I do love the beauty of the story here.
Edward and Bella are still pulled together when they meet in person, even with all the misunderstandings, and that is what makes it beautiful. Everyone wants to believe that when you meet your soul mate, you’ll just know them, be drawn to them. And even though this story is fluffy, it still is able to bring that point to life.
So if you want a cute, contemporary story, check her out!
When Bella's life takes an unexpected turn she's forced to find her estranged father, but not everything is as straight forward as it seems. Blood isn't always thicker than water. AU AH. B/E Rated M.
"Privileged"is an AH E/B fic. I love this story. I first foundNostalgicmiss'swriting when I read "The Girl Under the Bed" (AH Jasper/Bella. If you haven't read it, you should.). When that story ended, I was a bit sad -Nostalgicmissis a great writer, with well written stories and good character and story development. And she updates EVERY WEEK. What would I have to look forward to on Tuesday mornings? I mean, it was a habit! And I'm a creature of habit! Luckily, like a good drug dealer, Nostalgicmissstarted another story, and sure enough, the updates come out every Tuesday like clockwork. *sigh* And don't think I'm reading this because I need a drug fix. I'm reading it because it's GOOD. It's set in New Orleans and various other spots around southern Louisiana, so I'm able to get a good mental picture of her scenarios, and that is always a good thing for me. She's also got a really good handle on the way that certain, um, "social circles" work in the CrescentCity.
The story's based on the premise that Bella has been raised in the AtchafalyaBasin by her grandma (okay, that's the Louisiana swamp for those of you that don't know). Flighty Renee, of course, took off long ago when she was a baby. Charlie was there, too, but...well, you gotta read the story. Upon her grandma's death, Bella discovers that her biological father is Carlisle Cullen - rich, well connected, New Orleans doctor. And of those three adjectives, "well connected" is the most important, followed by "rich", after which "doctor" trails far behind. Bella decides to go to New Orleans to meet this father and see if she can figure out why she's just now finding out about him at the age of 17. What she finds there is a shock to her poor Cajun Girl system, but she gamely decides to soldier on. Because she's not a quitter, and she refuses to be driven back home like a beat dog. Personally, if it was me, I would have said "Fuck you all" within the first week and gone home to retain my sanity. But then, of course, there wouldn't be a story. I keep telling Nostalgic this. Almost every review, in fact. She keeps telling me "Trust Me". And I do. And Bella does seem to be working through everything just fine. But every obstacle overcome just leads to a bigger one, it seems.
The story is wonderfully written, and Nostalgic has developed all the characters beautifully. All our favorites are here, and there's a new one for us to hate. I mean enjoy. None of them start out where they 'need' to be, but we get to see the characters gradually shift and grow. Hell, talk about Slow Build here for E/B, you won't even be sure it IS an E/B fic for quite a while. In fact, you'll decide you don't WANT it to be an E/B fic at one point, because we ALL love J/B, and, well...just read the story. It's got angst, mystery, romance, and a wonderfully written Bella trying to figure out the world she's suddenly found herself in. And we get to try to figure it out right along with her.
Edward meets his soul mate, Idreamofeddy! Started as a "What not to do in a lemon" exercise. CRACKFIC, LEMON! Rated M AH,AU,OOC and Original Character!
My one shot rec this week should not be a surprise. Well, actually it SHOULD be. I’m really lax on my blog participation lately because A) I’m trying to finish my story, B) This fandom has gone fucking nuts and I'm a little sick of it, C) I don’t read very many AH stories, D) I’m stuck in a depressive rut that I don’t believe I’ll ever surface from, and E) I’m more than likely going to take that twenty minute trip to a certain man’s house because he thinks it’s 'love'.
But I HAVE to recommend this story. It's a reminder that, yes, I do indeed still love aspects of this fandom.
It’s not everyday you’re used as a character for someone else’s fic, and it’s not every day you have EVERY superlative term available in mind while you try to live the dream inside a very well written story of what NOT to write. Did that make sense? Try reading THIS.
No matter how fucked up it is, I can proudly say that I, IdreamofEddy, aka Kaylene, have fucked Edward Cullen.
And I have even done his laundry. I also have to give kudos to Whitlock Harem's beta, stitchcat, because I could just imagine what this would have done to mine.
Oh, but I am humbled, and I’m humbled by the gals over at Whitlock Harem. I gave an interview - a really unique interview - a few weeks back, and it’s safe to say this all started with just one comment I made in that interview. It's a comment I shall pay dearly for for the rest of my life because lo and behold, my dream HAS come true in the most fucked up way imaginable.
How wonderful.
There's an excerpt down below. I wish I could have done this rec more justice, but humor just isn’t running through my blood right now. What is is heart. It’s the fact that I have met some really unique and wonderful individuals in this fandom who I call friends and who support me no matter what and no matter what my opinion is, even if they call me bitch behind my back. I am still so honored with artist’s respect as an artist, and I guess I kind of am. These ladies here are artists that should be respected and treasured. Enjoy this one shot. I did and I always will.
"Ah, I will make you mine, thweet paragon of womanlineth," he murmured into the thundering, crashing, heavy-metal beat of a love song that touched his heart with its tenderness. Thankfully the blaring music kept anyone from hearing the lisp that inevitably afflicted his words whenever he spoke. "Never fear, my perfect, gorgeouth beauty. I will make your claiming a thing of thuch pleathure the heaventh will weep with jealouth envy."
Edward wiped the drool from his chin. He'd found her at last. His fated mate, his perfect mistress, the other half of his soul, mind, heart, spleen, ribs, and assorted other anatomical parts which had never felt whole until now. He'd found her at last! The lock to his key, the oars to his dingy, the cream in his oreos, the plumbing for his snake.
J Jenks POV in Breaking Dawn when Bella comes to him. Just exactly what is he thinking when Bella comes to him? One shot
My Wednesday One Shot this week is Lovely Encounter, by emmettsmyfave. I've always been interested in what the humans think when they interact with the Cullens, and I figured Jenks would be a great place to start – after all, he's 'worked' for them and been associated with them for a very long time. It seems that the Cullens have their human 'servants', much as the Volturi have theirs. Of course, the Cullens aren't going to eat theirs at the end of the day, but still...can you imagine what it would be like to work for Jasper? Especially when Jasper doesn't want you to breathe a word to anyone about your associations. I like to think that Mr. Jenks was more than a little releaved to deal with Bella instead...at least in the short term. Lovely Encounter is the interactions between Bella and Jenks during Breaking Dawn, from Jenk's perspective.
Ah, Human Month. I'm actually a big fan of AH stories. And I won't lie to you, in a lot of the AH stories out there (including some I like), the only connection to Twilight are the names of the characters and their physical descriptions. And sometimes not even the physical descriptions. Why read them, you ask? Well, they are well written, entertaining stories. And they're free. I was sort of torn on Human month. Part of me felt that, in the spirit of things, I should be rec'ing stories about the human characters in SM's books. But let's face it, who the heck wants to read 24 chapters about Eric Yorkie? Not Me. And even if there IS one out there (OK, I admit it, I haven't looked...), do you REALLY think the other Lambs would let the baby have it? Not likely. We'd be fighting over that fic like starving dogs over a bone.
So, for my first rec of the month, I'm going with an AH fic called Surviving Bella by Savage7289. It's 7 chapters in, and it's quite a good read so far. Human Edward was the captain of a sailing ship - the kind you can book trips on (not the three-hour cruise type of trip), sailing around the Caribbean. Bella, for reasons that are revealed as the story goes on, has booked such a cruise. Capt. Edward is an Asshole with a dark past. Bella is....well, pretty much our familiar Bella - older, stronger, more worldly, more...well, she's lived a little more. But she's still recognizable as our Bella.
The ship sinks in a storm (of course it does), and they find themselves on a life raft together. Alone. The whole adventure kicks off with Edward going through the DTs, and things just go downhill from there. I'm enjoying it because it's a good, well written story, and I want to learn more about the characters as they learn about each other. I also want to find out which one of them kills the other first. The obvious choice would be Edward taking out Bella, but...I'm really hoping she kicks HIM over the side in the middle of the night. So far, it's just Edward and Bella in the story - and I'm guessing it's going to remain that way for a long time, if not for the entire story. Other characters from Twilight are mentioned as Bella and Edward slowly reveal themselves to each other, sometimes in the same role they play in the books - although sometimes that is with a ...twist.
I recommend you give it a chance, if AH stories are your thing. E/B AH Stories.
Congratulations, Deb!
Winner of Most Anticipated Continuation in the Slash Backslash 2.0 Contest! (no shit...)
Today is the beginning of our Human Month (all human, all the time, yeah!), and for this WOS we're doing something out of the norm. Whereas we usually pick our own favourite one shots, we've decided to post a special review for TwistedforTwilight's The X-Games.
It all started out as a simple email by yours truly to the lovely Lambs, asking them to support my ficmate and her entry to the Slash BackSlash 2.0 contest. I didn't think anything much about it, since the majority of us don't really read slash or AH fics. So imagine my surprise when the lovely (crazy) catonspeedreplied with this email:
Please tell me you've all read X games! I read it on the train this morning and i don't know whether to maim, marry, or kill deb right now. But it's fantastic. It's not slash heavy, so don't let that turn you off, because it's beautiful, and it will gut you from them inside in the best of worst ways.
Read it and then i dare you to try tell me you don't like it.
And so the shitstorm of emails began. To date, we have about 170 emails exchanged between us dedicated to this oneshot. No joke.
Then again, the Lambs were a bunch of mouthy freaks, so no surprise there really.
Anyway, email exchanges turned to thoughts, and thoughts turned to drabbles.
Yes, we were so moved by the story that we were inspired to write drabbles dedicated to this fic. IdreamofEddysummed it up perfectly:
A fic is good when you're still thinking about it 10 minutes later. I love that, but fuck Edward with a dildo and barb wire.
Honestly, methinks the Lambs were helping me cope because I was being hard on myself for forgetting an important person's birthday. That's how wonderful these people are.
So, back to the main topic. As opposed to reviews, here are some drabbles, rambles, and a short story written by some of us, made with love.
Happy eyes stare back at me. The golden boy with the golden heart. Hair that falls in heavy curtains across eyes that pierce me inside, deep in places untouched. I can feel his hands grasping, frantic, breath panting across skin damp with sweat, tugging me closer, but still not enough. I’ll never get enough of him. I’ll never be close enough, taste enough, feel enough. I want to reach out and brush that thick hair back and reveal those beautiful eyes. I want to feel that heat.
"Jazz man!" Emmett yelled, punching the blond in the arm hard enough to make him wince. "A gold, man! Good job! Beats the hell out of that bronze you got last year."
"Thanks, Em," Jasper said, grinning and rubbing his arm. "Guess my head was just in a better place this year."
"Yeah, I guess it was. All that 'no sex, no booze' before the big day really paid off for you. But tonight, man..." Emmett grinned and winked.
"You know it," Jasper replied, smiling even wider.
The smile faded a bit, though, when he turned and saw a familiar face topped with bronze hair.
"Congratulations, Jasper," Edward said softly as he was shoved into Jasper by the crowd jostling to get closer to the gold medalist.
Jasper neatly sidestepped the stumbling boy, allowing him to fall to his knees in the dirt. Glancing down at him, he allowed himself to briefly make eye contact, but no signs of recognition crossed his face. Stepping around him, Jasper kept walking.
"Who was that?" Emmett said, pausing briefly to look back at the figure still kneeling in the dirt.
"No idea. Some fanboy, I guess. Come on, let's go home and celebrate."
The last six months have been a living hell. Mom and dad, I’m sure, never thought they would die so young, but if they had known, they would have been sure to leave me with someone other than Uncle Riley. Mom hadn’t spoken to him in years after he had punched my dad one Christmas Eve. But that’s how the system works. And since Riley was my mother’s only next of kin, I’d had no choice but to endure his guardianship. I soon came to understand why he and my father had that fight so many years before. Even though Riley was younger than mom, he had somehow managed the ability to emotionally abuse his older sister every chance he got, and when my father had had enough…well, that was the end of any future reunions for our family.
Apparently the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree. Like my mom, I had managed to somehow creep under my uncle’s thumb, especially after he found out what a “queer” little nephew his fuck up of a sister had created, and he had taken great pleasure in squishing me whenever he could. I only came to the X Games in July because I had wanted to meet Jasper. I figured I could help Riley out in an attempt to get an autograph out of the most skilled pro competing at the event. I was Jasper’s biggest fan, but I couldn’t tell Riley that. That would have been a mistake. I couldn’t believe my luck when I had managed to sneak away briefly the day before the competition after seeing Jasper chill under that tree. He was beautiful – more beautiful than I could have imagined. And when he invited me to come to his RV that night, I got lost in my own personal fantasy of Jasper and me together years down the road.
My heart soared that night when we made love. I couldn’t believe it was real. I couldn’t believe he was real. But I had no choice but to leave early the next morning when Riley texted me, enraged that I’d disappeared for the night. My dream would just be that – an unfulfilled dream. So I stole a souvenir from Jasper as I snuck out.
Wondering where I’d been, I guess Riley snooped and found Jasper’s boxers while I was in the shower. It was a no brainer to whom those Hollisters belonged – it would have been obvious to anyone who had been at the heats the day before. I felt like a monster sitting in those stands, Riley’s words of hate ringing in one ear, my denial to him ringing in the other. And I watched as Jasper folded, somehow miraculously placing third. I had done that to him. And when he found me after the ceremony, the look in his eyes sliced my heart in a way I didn’t know was possible. I’d never had a backbone. That’s my problem. And I wish to God I had found it that day after Riley threw my souvenir at the man I had fallen in love with.
Instead, I found my backbone two weeks ago the day I turned 21 and inherited my trust fund from my parents. Their life insurance policy, as well as what they had blessedly somehow socked away, had given me the freedom to leave Riley forever. I repaid him with interest and never looked back.
I’m 2200 miles from school, thanks to a free rotation this semester. It’s the eve of the Tampa Pro and I’m standing outside Room 318 of the Quality Inn & Suites on East 18th Avenue. Knowing where he’d be competing had been an easy task; knowing where he’d be staying had been a different story.
I’m going to tell him I was a coward. I’m going to tell him that I’ve loved him every moment since that shameful day.
And if he forgives me, I’m going to never let him go ever again.
He was alone underneath the tree, eyes closed. He looked so peaceful, so serene.
He was beautiful.
I sat on a bench nearby, never taking my eyes off him. I studied him from afar, memorizing every inch of him, knowing this may be the only time I'll ever get to do so.
How I wished that there would be a chance for he and I to get to know each other - hat there would be a possibility of US in the future.
"It's time," said Uncle Riley.
That wish was tarnished before it even started.
"I'm so sorry," I whispered.
Well done Deb and good luck!
Same goes to all the other finalists on the SBS2.0 contest.
For the record, we made sure that the voting for the contest was over prior to posting this rec.
Once upon a time there was a little, old thing called The Fandom Gives Back: New Moon Edition. As a Lamb, I wanted to contribute to this endeavor, but I was stuck – Did I really want to write something? I mean, I could have called it “JaspersDestiny is Forced Out of Her Little Shell”. Natch. I love my little shell. Screw that idea. I figured, “Hey, I could offer my services as a Beta to anyone in need instead.” And that’s just what I did. I didn’t expect anyone to buy me, of course, but there was a wee one by the name of Merina Green – aka Donna - who not only bid on me, she commented on my FGB thread a couple of times with things like, “Yayyyy! I’ve still got you!” And she would make me giggle (shit, it’s not like she had any competition, but if she was excited, hell…).
I remember emailing Kay after FGB had ended that I wondered what the hell kind of story I was in for. Don’t hate on me, but it could have been A) complete god-awfulry, B) an Edward fic (*squelch*), or C) who the fuck knows…? Not that any of this would have mattered - I would do my job excellently any old way anyway. But whether I kept my dinner down was another story (Diaperward anyone?). There are fics...and then there are fics.
Donna told me that she had most of the story written already and to expect an influx of chapters. “Okay,” I said, “Pony them up.” And I then became her Black Market Beta. But my God, I did not expect the story I was given. I told the Lambs that I had found a gem and that I was luckier than Demi Moore in Indecent Proposal with what would later be called Running.
Running would turn out to be one of the most original fanfics I had ever read, and it would later go on to win Most Creative Way to Get Rid of Alice/Edward, Best Sex That Never Was and Best Use of Scars in a Fic in the Everything is Bigger in Texas Awards.
Donna and I have had fun together on this journey, and we Lambs had the honour of adding her to our mix of fuckery here at The Petting Zoo. I mean, Jasper lickage, whale sex, drive-by shootings, and Christian missionaries deserve Lamb status, no? And Lucy was already getting advanced copies of the story as I beta read, and she was wonderful enough to create a gorgeous story banner for Donna, who sat there amazed at what was happening with her fic.
I may be stretching things here, but I would like to think that Donna has had one of the best experiences in the fandom as a whole – I know she’s a loyal – and loved – reader and reviewer, and then she goes and writes a story that becomes one of the most beloved J/B fics on FFn, in turn garnering herself a loyal – and loved – following. She’s found herself thrown into the world of Twitter, and she’s met some new friends along the way, some of whom include her favourite authors from before - when she was just a humble reader. It’s a bit like a fairy tale – one which I could only wish for if it were me. And Donna’s a wonderful woman, mother, and wife – and her husband is wonderful, too, because he supports her addiction, unlike most husbands.
And now we Lambs call her friend.
So, stay a while and get to know our most recent Lamb a little better. And now that Running is complete (congratulations, Donna!), let’s all cross our fingers that she has another story in the works down the road, although I wouldn’t be surprised if she takes a little break for a while. Her local coffee shop will call to her, no doubt, though, so I don’t think we’ll have eons to wait *grin*.
1. Tell us about yourself. Married? Single? Kids, age...whatever you'd like to share.
Married with children - a freshman in college, a senior in HS, and a second grader, proving that you're never too old to get caught.
2. Tell us about Twilight. How did you first get into the Saga, when was the first time you read it, and which book is your favorite?
My daughter made me read it. I held out for a long time. The first movie came out and I ignored it. Her Dad took her to see it with her cousins (he then escaped into the James Bond movie with the boys). She'd already read the books, but I bought them for her that Christmas (2008) because she "really, really liked them" and I thought the covers were pretty. So there they were, staring at me, day in and day out. Harping teenage female in the background "just try them, just try them"...she was like a drug dealer, trying to lure in a new client. In fact, that's EXACTLY what she was. I finally broke down in mid-January of 2009, just to stop the whining. I was hooked by the end of the first chapter and read all four books in a weekend. I went and saw the movie with her (yeah, it was still running...) twice, then once with my husband (yeah, he read all the books - we're supportive of each other's addictions that way).
My favorite was the first book, when True Love was still innocent and untainted. After that, things headed south - people got whiny and situations got complicated. I liked them all though - even Breaking Dawn. Sometimes an unrealistic, fluff-filled ending with the heroine getting everything she wants, served on a silver platter, is OK. This IS fiction, after all. My least favorite was the teenage angst-fest known as New Moon. I didn't like feeling like a heartbroken teenager again.
3. What got you started reading Twilight Fanfiction? Do you remember the first fic you read?
I'd visited FF in the past for other stories (Twilight's not my first journey down Obsession Street). I stumbled on it again for Twilight when I was looking for Midnight Sun, which I had heard (again, from my daughter) was SOMEWHERE online. First fic I read was Fate Has Brought Us Here - I mean, could I have GOTTEN any luckier? I thought, "Wow. Jasper. He is SO much better than Edward. How did I not realize this before?" This was followed by some total CRAP that I don't even remember, and then I figured out how the filters worked and I found Colliding Meteors, One More Taste, and Golden Moon. I mean, is it any wonder I became addicted?
5. Who are your favorite characters, from who you like the most to err...who you would like to kill right off the bat?
In SM's books, I like Edward. I admit it. I try to read him in the spirit in which SM intended (or at least how I think she intended!), and I love him. HOWEVER, in FF I much prefer Jasper and/or Carlisle. I don't want to kill any of them, believe it or not. However, I can do without Jacob in any way, shape, or form. He is the archetypical male who won't take ‘no’ for an answer and is then shocked when he finally figures out the girl doesn't like him. He's too young, too cock-sure, and too damn annoying. He’s too much like a dog. SM did a good job writing him! Nessie...kinda creeps me out. And while I can't bring MYSELF to write anything like it, I LOVE the scene in a good Jasper story (or any other non-canon pairing) when Edward finds out that Jasper (or whoever it might be) got The Girl. Because even though I loved SM's books, I think a part of me never quite forgave him for leaving in the beginning of New Moon. I think I must have repressed rage or something.
6. Which fics are you reading right now and which ones have your complete attention whenever they pop with an update?
7. What made you finally decide to start writing your own?
The scene at the end of Breaking Dawn, after the battle, when Edward says, "...I'm sure they'll recover from the blow someday. And then...I imagine they'll try to pick us off separately." It kept rolling around in my head, spitting out plot bunnies. And I saw all these 'real' people writing REALLY good stories. So I decided I'd give it a try. I always liked writing, and here was a ready-made, anonymous audience of addicts. I figured SOMEBODY was bound to read it. Then I bought myself a Beta at the FGB auction, assuring that I would have at least one (paid) reader, and my spelling/grammar errors would be taken care of. Because I'm insecure like that!
8. What's the atmosphere like when you're writing? Music…quiet…kids screaming and ripping each other apart…husband bitching in the background? Do you drink and/or smoke?
I have a lot of mental down-time at work, which allows me to run through scenes in my head. Then when I have free time at home, I can sit down and write fairly quickly. I like to write in quiet, which means it’s usually late at night. I also write at a coffee house on Sunday afternoons with some other 'hobby' writers. I don't usually like writing to music because it affects my mood too much - I'd spend all my time trying to make a playlist that matched the tone of what I was wanting to write. HOWEVER, if people (teenagers and company) are hanging out, I will put music on to drown out the noise. Right now I listen to whatever my son (age 18) gives me, saying, "Here, I think you'll like this". He hasn't been wrong yet. But I couldn't tell you what any of it is...sorry!
I drink. On rare occasions, to excess. I've never smoked a cigarette.
9. What else do you like to read besides Twilight?
I don't remember... :) Science Fiction, fantasy, or the odd romance novel.
10. What else do you like to do?
Kayaking (not whitewater - not really available here in Louisiana), camping, going to the beach, tubing, floating in the pool with a drink in my hand.
11. Tell us a secret.
I read RPF. There. I've said it. I read it, and there are some I really like. Don't judge.
To me, life was a heartbeat in time and a breath of air. Jasper showed me it was truth, justice, faith, love, and fear. He dared me to be different. He encouraged me to defy the rules of my world and create my own. And on my last day, he took it all. Jasper/Bella Rated M
I absolutely loveOracle Vas’writing, so I was very excited to see that she had started a new story. Just the summary alone was intriguing, especially, "And on my last day, he took it all." I couldn't wait to dive into this story.
I like the fact that Cris took SM's story about what happened at the baseball field with the nomads and made it her own. That's exactly what should have happened, IMHO. I think I shivered when I read that Jasper had a look of pleasure on his face after he destroyed the nomads. I knew then and there that this was going to be good. Edward in this story is his typical overprotective self but he does let Bella spend time with Jasper. Jasper is supposed to be helping Bella adjust to the idea of becoming a vampire. I'm sure that if Edward knew some of what Jasper is teaching Bella, he wouldn't approve at all.
With Jasper, Bella starts to see her world in a different light. He doesn't sugar coat with her, and he especially doesn't help when she falls. I think the methods that he uses with her are supposed to make her stronger. I think he wants her to be a leader and not a sheep, following others around.
I can't entirely figure out Jasper and his real motives with Bella. I'm not sure if they are supposed to be mates and he wants her to live up to being HIS mate or if he indeed is playing a game with her, only to kill her in the end. Either way, I'm completely loving Jasper and really starting to enjoy the growing, stronger Bella.
One other thing that I absolutely love is that Cris gives me even more reasons to hate Edward. He really is a douche.
This story is wonderfully written, very intriguing, and it opens my mind to a new way of thinking about Jasper, Bella, and the whole Cullen Coven. I have enjoyed every bit of it and I can't wait for more.
Thank you, Cris, for sharing this incredible story with us.
It wasn’t such a difficult decision to chooseOracle Vas’ Conversations with My Killeras our Group Fic Pic this month. Typically, we all nominate stories individually and then blind poll to get our winner for the month, and to be honest, I can’t remember now which of us sent the email first aboutCWMK. All I know for certain is that on one of my rare times on Twitter, I saw a tweet run through the masses thatOracle Vashad published the first chapter in what would become a multi-chap Jasper/Bella VAMP fic.
Key word for me - VAMP.
You see, I simply hardly – if ever – read AH, and whileOracle Vashad always come highly recommended to me, there was always another vamp fic available to be read. But when I saw that tweet go out, I flocked – just like everyone else - to see what kind of goodies were in store for us fine readers.
From there began a, “Have you readCWMK?” email spree. We never actually voted this month for GR – we just naturally came to the conclusion that this was the story we would all use for our Jasper-focus – not just because it’s an incredible and incredibly-written story but because it caused and still causes much debate.
Right from Chapter One, Oracle Vas has held my attention. She is a very gifted writer, and I was struck immediately by how different her Bella and Jasper are from a lot of the stories out there. Actually, there are some very fine and original characterizations available to us by some very talented writers, some of whom I know and call friend, so it was just fantastic to read another author whose work is both respected and original.
The first thing that strikes me immediately aboutOracle Vas is her writing style – sarcastic, witty, hysterically funny...and most of all, insightful. CWMK takes a different look at Twilight, where the baseball confrontation turns out to be eight shades of different from what we all know to be “true”. In this altered universe, Bella and Edward have just happily moseyed along in their relationship to the point where it is now post-graduation and they, or Edward rather, is planning their wedding. But Bella is at a crossroads, unhappy about her relationship with Edward, and she is questioning her sense of self. She wonders where the real Bella has disappeared to during the course of her relationship, and she is now trying to take a stand to find the girl who used to have tastes, needs, and desires all her own.
Jasper, who is Alice-less in this story (she’s always been out of the picture physically for reasons all her own, and thus Bella has never met her in person), makes Bella think in this story. He questions why she won’t do, say, or think what she’s really feeling. He tips Bella’s axis of the world with his caustic presence, and it is only with Jasper that Bella truly reveals herself. He unhinges Bella and is completely unpredictable. But through Jasper, Oracle Vasmakes her readers think too. I personally look forward to each update simply because I want to see Oracle’s spin on life, the universe, and everything in between – and if it means the Mud Prophet brings me this insight...well, you won’t hear any complaints from me. As well, the sheer mystery of Jasper’s presence in the Cullen home – what his role is both there and with Bella – is truly intriguing. I have my own hypothesis, but I’m not sharing.
Now, based on the title of this story, you may wonder, “Um, will this story be angsty? Will there be an HEA? Do I want to read a story that may not turn out ‘well’ in the end?”
The answer?
Yes, you do. And Oracle herself gives us the reason why through a conversation between Jasper and Bella:
With that, the subject was dropped, and his capricious wanderings led him over to my desk. He picked up a book and thumbed through it. "Louisa May Alcott. I am unfamiliar with this one."
A Long Fatal Love Chase. "It wasn't published until over a decade ago."
"May I borrow this after you're done with it?"
I found it interesting how this time he was borrowing, not that I was going to complain. It actually seemed natural to share with him. "Borrow whatever you like. You can take the book now. I've already read it."
Jasper ran a finger over the lettering on the cover. "A title like this tells the whole story, yet people will still read the book. It's a curious thing."
"Not really. I want to know why she ran and why he chased her. I want to know how long she lasted and who died. The title may give a hint to the end, but the path to that ending is what interests me."
The main concern for many who might decide to readCWMK is whether Jasper is…well, just going to kill Bella in the end. But death can mean a human-vamp alteration, too, so the title is definitely open to much speculation.
But even if Jasper does do away with Bella and it’s not an HEA, which I highly doubt, I still want to know how Bella “dies” by the Mud Prophet’s hand, as well as the path to that ending. This is what interests me, and I believe it would – or should – interest you too.
One thing I must say for this fic, as well as the author’s other works, is that it gets some people talking. She is original, imaginative, and always thinks outside the box, which is something that so many readers love about her stories. You can’t not feel something for her fics, whether it be love, hate, excitement, annoyance, frustration, anger, angst, whatever. She takes you in such directions that you always have a reaction of some kind. And that is why her fics are so talked about.
With this newest story, she takes the canon characters, actions, events, everything and twists them into this original version all her own. Her characters are complex and intriguing and for the most part react as you would expect – imperfectly. SM’s characters and story were so perfectly lined up sometimes that you could almost see the ruler she used to write it. But something that I always enjoy is the ‘realness’ of the characters. They fuck up and make mistakes and sometimes go through the hardest of times, but they tell an amazing story along the way. This is what makes a great story.
Personally, I have trouble reading this one because I want to bash Bella’s head in. While I have read all that is out there now, I may wait until it is finished so I can read it all in one go or something. While it’s great writing, sometimes she pushes it a bit too far for me and I start seeing this whole yo-yo effect happening, like with Bella here. First, she’s whining about Edward and that not everything is perfect but she doesn’t do anything about it. Then when she tries to talk to him, she again lets him off the hook but still continues to whine. So it drives me nuts waiting for her to grow some balls and stand up for herself, see?
I guess the beauty of it is that you are learning everything as Bella does and feeling her frustration. The problem is that I try to put myself in her shoes when I read and I can’t because I keep wondering why she doesn’t just ask certain questions or do certain things, etc.
So, like I said, you can’t not have a reaction to this fic. It’s original and crafty and makes you think, definitely – the trip to the pound shows you that in glaring colors. So I urge everyone to give it a try and see what you think, then tell us!
Oracle Vas' new story is intriguing, mysterious, erotic, enticing... Oracle, who previously brought us First Love Lost and Last Love Found, two AH J/B fics, is in the process of writing an AU vamp fic for us. Set in SM's world and following SM's “rules”, Oracle's story veers away from Twilight at the baseball field. Actually, it veers a bit before that – Alice is not physically present in this one, having left the family before Bella arrives to pursue....something. And Alice and Jasper were only ever friends. But in general the story is going in the same direction as SM's.
Bella's marriage to Edward is fast approaching, orchestrated with Alice's assistance from a distance. After the wedding comes the Moment of Truth, when Edward will change Bella . Just like in SM's world, in Oracle's world it was a compromise – “Marry me and I'll change you.” Jasper has, for some reason, been 'assigned' to her to help her address issues and answer questions about her upcoming immortality. It's all very strange to Bella and to us the Reader. Everyone behaves very oddly when it comes to Jasper. Case in point – they will be moving from Forks when Bella is changed. Esme is, of course, already planning things for the new house, like...the room arrangements, and she doesn't have Edward and Bella, who will be honeymooners at that point, sharing a room. In fact, she has Bella sharing a suite with Jasper “Because he'll need to be nearby,” Esme explains, to have easy access and to deal with Bella's newborn-ness. Nobody, including Edward, finds this odd. Bella, however, finds it quite odd. In fact, the more she pays attention, the odder she finds ALL of their behavior concerning Jasper. And so do we.
Jasper seems to be taking his role as tutor quite seriously, and he forces Bella to think and to question her decisions – decisions about Edward, decisions about her choice, decisions about EVERYTHING she thinks she knows. It's a fascinating glimpse into vampire life and it makes me think about things I haven't thought of, either. The Mud Prophet is teaching Bella SOMETHING, but we're not quite sure it's what Edward had intended. In fact, I'm pretty sure if he knew what was going on that the “lessons” would end. No, they aren't fooling around behind his back, but Jasper is definitely leading Bella in a direction that will take her away from being Edward's easily-controlled pet. In the process, Bella seems to be starting to have what might be construed as inappropriate feelings for her teacher. And I get the feeling Jasper is starting to have some pretty inappropriate feelings himself. For instance, a grocery shopping trip to the local animal shelter, where Jasper is DETERMINED to force Bella to pick out his next meal, ends up with Bella finally growing a set, and by the end of the scene Jasper is threatening Emmett bodily harm if he even THINKS about touching “our dog”. Now, PART of me thinks – ooohhh, how sweet. But this ISOracle Vas, so I'm withholding final judgment on THAT situation. I'm not sure the dog won't yet end up as Jasper's dinner, just to prove some sort of point.
The title just about tells us how the story will end...sort of. Maybe. “Killing” can have more than one meaning in the world of SM's vampires, so...I personally have high hopes that its not the sort of “killing” that is, well, of a more permanent nature. But you know what? If she DOES end up being killed dead, I don't think I'll mind. It's all about the journey – as Oracle has Bella remind us, point blank, at one point. And so far, it is one fascinating journey.
One of my favourite J/B authors has once again graced us with a new fic. To say that I was excited when I saw a new story alert from Oracle Vas in my inbox is an understatement.
I remember one of the Lambs saying that a good fic stays in your head hours after you've finished reading it. This is the same for CWMK. True to Oracle Vas' style of writing, this story had me wanting more from the get-go. The more the chapters that were presented, the more the questions that were embedded in my mind. Is it safe to consider this a mystery genre? Not really, but it does makes you think. Honestly, it confuses the HELL out of me, but not to the point where I was so frustrated I wanted to bang my head repeatedly against the wall. It made me want to google for more answers, it made me spam the rest of the lambs so we could discuss it. I am in awe of how Oracle Vas can affect her readers this way.
I'm a 36 year old wife and mother of 3. I have always loved to read but my obsession with reading has gotten worse since I found FF. I discovered the awesomeness that is Jasper and haven't looked at another character until Kay invented Peter.
Mae. 38 yr old long time reader and fairly new fanfic author. I'm definitely Team Jasper, but I'll read almost anything with Bella and without Jake as main characters so long as it has a good plot and at least readable grammar and spelling.
I'm probably too old to be doing this. I've got three kids. I'm an addict, but I refuse to seek treatment. My theory is, everybody needs an obsession. This one is at least reasonably healthy. Right? I love reading all the stories "real people" write, and writing my own is part of my justification for continuing with my obsession. This way, I can call it my "creative outlet". Or some such bullshit.
I'm a 33 year old Toronto gal. I like to molest all things 'grammar', thus I'm a Beta. I like to stare, make comparisons, blink rapidly, point and laugh... I am complicatedly simple and simply complicated. Apparently, I'm also considered..."awkward".
Or this:
Coming Through the Rye by Mac214 is an AH/EB fic that I found a couple months ago and instantly fell in love with. It's a romantic comedy, and every time I saw an update in my inbox, it made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Well, you won't get that feeling because Mac just completed it (congratulations!), but that just means you'll get to enjoy the story all at once!
In Mac214's world, Edward is a Scotsman in America who finds himself suddenly facing deportation out of the country due to the recent loss of his job. Bella is his co-worker and “best bud” of two years, and she's been nursing more than a crush for him for most of that time. When mutual friends suggest that they get married to prevent Edward from getting tossed out on his ear, it sounds like a good idea to Bella. Of course it does! Who wouldn't want to marry Edward-in-a-kilt in the hopes of getting to know his boaby better? (Want that interpreted? Read the story!) Mac214's story is well written, and Edward's dialogue is done in a Scotch accent that you can almost hear when you read it. I swear, it almost makes me swoon just seeing it in writing. And his INTERNAL dialogue? Well, I'll warn you, Ryeward is all man. He wouldn't hurt a fly and he's a nice guy, but....he farts. And he likes tits. A lot. And, well, he's just your every day kind of guy. A REAL guy. He's not the “magical, do-no-wrong, super-man Edward” we see in so many fics. He's the kind of guy you fall in love with and take home to keep, even if he does insist on leaving his sweaty, smelly rugby gear hidden in a corner where it starts to grow things. Because lets face it, he has an accent. And he wears a kilt. And you can forgive a lot if those two things are included in the package. 
