brainless, dazed, deficient, dense, dim, doltish, dopey, dull, dumb, dummy*, foolish, futile, gullible, half-baked, half-witted, idiotic, ill-advised, imbecilic, inane, indiscreet, insensate, irrelevant, laughable, loser*, ludicrous, meaningless, mindless, moronic, naive, nonsensical, obtuse, out to lunch, pointless, puerile, rash, senseless, shortsighted, simple, simpleminded, slow, sluggish, stolid, stupefied, thick, thick-headed, trivial, unintelligent, unthinking, witless...
Yep. Tina had a beta fail. An absolutely mind-blowing beta fail. I guess the time HAD to come eventually. I mean, none of us are infallible, right? *puffs out chest hoping to still retain 'some' pride* I don't suck THAT badly. Really. I hope...
Meh, I'm Italian AND Catholic. We THRIVE on guilt.
So, in our latest issue of Sunday Selections for March 21, 2010, Maelyn recommended katmom's Guarding Edward. I haven't been able to contribute much this month due to my BETA responsibilities (key word here is BETA). But although I am not contributing to the readings and recommendations this month, I still enjoy reading my co-Lambs' recommendations AND learning a bit more about the authors whose stories are featured here.
Anyway, katmom...I went to her FFn profile page and what do I see? A list of her pet peeves. I usually love it when I see these lists because I like to giggle like a Japanese school girl at what are simple errors (at least to ME).
Well...this is basically what happened when I noticed katmom's differentiation between 'peek', 'peak', and 'PIQUE':
I literally stared at my computer screen in horror, screamed, and then proceeded to have a panic attack, which I took to Twitter...where I called myself a BETATARD, to which fellow super-beta, mrsalreyami, giggled at me...
The SHAME! The HORROR!
Then I scampered off to all the stories I beta to see how much I had royally screwed up.
You know, it's not like my brain doesn't KNOW the difference between 'peek', 'peak', and 'PIQUE' but apparently my brain divorced itself from 'PIQUE' a while ago (I'm assuming). I just recently helped Kay re-edit the first 17 chapters of Colliding Meteors, which has been re-posted to FFn supposedly clean and bee-you-tee-full. HA! HAHA! HAHAHA!
Oh, that's RICH!
Want to know what's even *cough* RICHER? Last week's Grammar Girl, that's what! Why? Because it was all about SPELLING PROPERLY and knowing the difference between homophones!!! HA! HAHA! HAHAHA!
Chapter 1 of Colliding Meteors now has a festering sore called 'peak' staring me in the face. I can't even go into Kay's FFn account to change that ugly mofo warlock bitch because her document manager no longer has Chapter 1 in its reserve. Psst...Kay? Could you do me a favour and upload that puppy again for me so I can fix it? Yeah? Great! My firstborn goes to you, wife *wink* Thank the Lord and all his angels that The Orbiting Meteor and Donna's Running is clean, though. And Lucy's The Last Mile is so twirly, whirly that I don't think anyone would even notice an error as grievous as 'peak' Psst, Lucy...?
And, you know, it wasn't until I read katmom's FFn profile page that I realized that divorce proceedings had actually occurred *grumbles* the woman will probably took all my money and will probably deny me visitation rights...
So, since katmom has proved to be so helpful to me, I shall copy and paste right here her VERY simplistic and excellent explanation of the three homophones:
PEEK -- looking at something
PEAK -- the summit or point of something
PIQUE -- that irritated feeling when you want to sound "all that" about it
Got it? I sure do! I think it's going to follow me to my grave.
Can I offer my explanation for using 'peak' instead of 'pique'? I mean, I like to think it makes SOME sense *scrunches eyebrows together 'cutely' hoping you buy that crock of crap* So, here goes: If one's interest or curiosity is 'piqued', one could say that one's interest or curiosity has 'peaked', as in reached its summit? Yeah? No? Meh...
So, I now enter the world of STUPID. Come one, come all! Point and laugh at me. I am! I'm a beta, for Christ's sake! I'm not SUPPOSED to make this kind of error! I'm supposed to FIND these errors!
*shakes head* Well, I guess I'm a beta who has something to learn...every.single.day.
Dear Tina,
ReplyDeleteKnock it off, or I'll leave you for..a dictionary, or a spell checker, or even the little encyclopedia on my nifty phone. This was a great article, I learned something else now. It really peeked my interests. Still, quit beating yourself up. You are perfect for me,your skills are phenomenal, and even if you miss a word or whatever here and there, and if anyone has anything to say about it, I'll simply tell them they can go suck on Leah's tits. Or her peeks.
I have fixed the hard copy, reloaded it to FF, and updated the FF CM, updated my flash drive with the correction, and will hit the other two computers when I get home. If you like, just saddle right on over to FF and have a pique. Yours truly, the wife.
Nobody's perfect, stop beating yourself. UP! Stop beating yourself up! *grins*
ReplyDeleteNow can you please explain the difference between waist and waste? It grosses me the fuck out when Jasper puts his arms around Bella's waste. Ewwwwwwww!!!!!!
First thing I read this morning and I'm giggling like a loon!
ReplyDeleteDon't feel bad Tina. Everyone makes mistakes. No one is perfect. If no one made mistakes, we wouldn't need betas like you, right? And you can't ask for a better beta!
If it would make you feel better we could offer whippings with pretzels after. Mwuhahaha!
OMG Girlnorth has it right, please do waist and waste. I hate that one.
ReplyDeleteOh, and did you get the link I sent you for that twitter account? In case anyone else wants it...http://twitter.com/youroryoure It actually goes thru and smacks a big ass WRONG on people's tweets who can't figure out the difference. I love it! HAHA
Damn Tina, you beat yourself up tooooo much. You are the uberbeta and keep all of our fuckery in check. You are allowed to fuck up once in a while. Love you!
ReplyDeleteThis was too funny! As someone who edits my chapters more than I write them, I can appreciate the subtleties between words. Whenever I read mistakes like waist/waste, I just shake my head, wondering if I'm proofreading too much.
ReplyDeleteI'm off now to edit and proceed to bang my head repeatedly against the desk.
It will be okay, betagirl, really, it will. Uncurl from your feedle position and buck up.
ReplyDelete